January 2011
134 posts
1 tag
Commune
We’re looking into moving into a giant loft with performance and theatre space with like 6 other people. Is this the worst decision ever? Am I too old for this?
Oh god. I want to do this so bad.
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Brussel Sprouts
Mother fucking mission accomplished.
Exes...
djsparklemotion:
Sometimes, it’s easier to just pretend they died….
“Oh, him, no he fell off a cliff while he was on fire, and somehow got castrated on the way down. Then, when he landed, he was eaten by a lion.”
HA!
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Last night
One of the guys at the dinner party made brussel sprouts. My dad hates them so my mom never made them. Giant Fiance hates them so we never buy them.
I forgot how much I love them. Plan for today: buy brussel sprouts. eat brussel sprouts until I wish I was dead.
2 tags
People left our show tonight
during the Westboro Baptist church sketch because, “Jesus hates the sin but loves the sinner.”
No. Just no.
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In my exit panel/interview from college, one of my professors told me, “I worry that you won’t do theatre after college and you’ll wake up one morning and wonder where your life went.”
One of them told me I was lazy and that they would never hire me, he had a problem with my “look.” Also I was not funny and should never do comedy ever.
Cut to 4+ years later...
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Why can't I use this as a response to a profesh...
glossylalia replied to your post: Then it’s settled.
I think a donut tower with strawberries between the layers could actually look nice in addition to being delicious.
Agreed. I am emailing the cake lady!
Then it's settled.
glossylalia replied to your chat: Gchat for the ages…So, a Tower of donuts, then. WITH chocolate covered strawberries.
ailanthusaltissima replied to your chat: Gchat for the ages…Castle of donuts. With chocolate covered strawberries in their holes (unintentionally seXXXy). And pies on top of the turrets.
Last night Giant Fiance said it has to be in a tower. Phallic and large...
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I changed my handle
I’ve had schlegs84 since the aol days and it just bums me out.
Now it’s Schlegelbites.
When pizza’s on a Schlegel, you can have pizza anytime!
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Gchat for the ages...
Me: We should do something like chocolate covered strawberries or mini pies for the wedding cake.
Giant Fiance: Tower of donuts
Giant Fiance: Tower of donuts
Giant Fiance: Tower of donuts
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I burned my butt on the radiator
Can you guess how the rest of my morning went?!
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Toddlers and Tiaras
It’s interesting that all these parents think that pageants are giving their kids something. They’re always yammering about confidence, poise and personality. And it’s fun to dress up. And the kid loves to be onstage.
THEN PUT THEM IN A PLAY GODDAMN IT.
You get all the fun stuff and at the end everyone claps for you. Everyone gets applause.
As far as the scariness of...
5 tags
While watching the State of the Union
Haitian Niece: Momma, he from Haiti?
Sister: No baby, he isn't from Haiti.
Haitian Niece: Momma, they in church?
Sister: No baby, they aren't in church.
Haitian Niece: Momma, I don't like like Daddy's shows.
“How f***ing sacred is this person who’s never contributed one thing to anyone’s...”
– Louis CK On Sarah Palin, ‘Louie’
I can’t remember if I stuck this in the que or not.
(via tinfoilandtea)
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KSO....
djsparklemotion:
Keep, Sleep, Or…
Their music career is going quite well. You turn on the radio, and hear their next hit single. Turns out, it’s all about you!
Taio Cruz
Michael Buble
Any of the boys from Hanson. (Let’s say they have a comeback. Pick your favorite.)
Keep: Taio Cruz
Sleep: Michael Buble (mmm Canadian….)
Song: HANSON FOREVER.
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Learning the ways of the internet....
djsparklemotion:
Me: I love that you call him Giant Fiance.
BestFriend: I know, I title my loved ones.
Me: Me too, MainGay, The Roommates, you’ve been dubbed BestFriend. It’s like a little cast of characters.
Me: Someday, I’ll add BoyFriend to the list….
…or maybe just SteadyF***k.
BestFriend: Post that!
Tumblr Tips!
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Well, Hello...: Your Friends Know Why You're... →
howaboutwe:
If you’re like me, you probably live with the conceit that while yes, you talk about your friends’ foibles behind their backs, they couldn’t possibly do the same to you because, well, what could they possibly have to say? Clearly you’re perfect.
But then there are those…
I’ve been thinking about this and the convos it spurred. And I agree that people aren’t in...
2 tags
1 tag
I just wanted the octopus: This is an edgy tumblr... →
ailanthusaltissima:
First I am going to say that I am not being “offensive” and that if you read it as offensive, then there is something wrong with you.
Next, I am going to jump head first into a racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic rant. I will refer to groups as “those people” or “others”. I will minimize their…
Let’s keep it civil, even though I refuse to acknowledge you as my...
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Fat Superman
I am just bad at life. I’ll feel crappy and then realize I haven’t drank or eaten all day. When I’m busy and I get hungry, I’m like, “It’s fine! I’m fat! I have stores! I’M INVINCIBLE! I’M FAT SUPERMAN!” Last night I decided I would eat after rehearsal so I danced for 4 hours, didn’t drink any water but managed to smoke 3 cigs. And...
1 tag
"What The Hell Is A "Fairytale Wedding" Anyhow?"
rosemarysbabyjane:
crabby-cakess:
“What exactly does this phrase mean and where did it come from?”
The answer is in the question!
I’m pretty sure it involves some anthropomorphized mice helping you put your dress on and a bunch of birds sticking flowers in your hair.
I think it’s one where I just show up, in sweats and get wasted. The rest of this shit is just annoying.
Do you believe in "soul mates"?
nanner:
allyourlovearebelongtome:
I do not, but I’d like to get other’s perspectives.
YES! One of my best friends is my soul mate. It’s purely platonic, but she knows me better than anyone in the entire world. We’re practically twins.
I have a few soulmates. I have an artistic soulmate and my life soulmate and a sister of my heart.
3 tags
Guys!
We got such an amazing review from Centerstage. I am giddy.
The sketch group 4 Days Late, fresh from its appearance at Chicago Sketchfest, has premiered a new production of their fall revue “Americans In Peril”, and it’s easy to see why they’re getting so much mileage out of this material. The group consists of six very sharp young writer/performers, three male and three female, with a...
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DRUNK!
Drunk!
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Dudes from the past
I am going to be married in less that 5 months and that shit has me reminiscing. I am not nearly as cool/gorgeous as HBC so my stories won’t make a whole post, let alone a full blog. I’m stealing her idea.
C: Thank you for loving me first and teaching me what that feels like. Later, when they treated me like shit, at least I had something to compare it to.
J: You were just the...
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Writing Sketches
We wrote one about privilege for the last show and I’m kinda hooked. I think it’s helping me sort through examining mine and it’s something most sketch groups aren’t talking about right now.
Our latest idea is the straight, white guy in the group singing, “I’ve got a golden ticket!” or a whole theme of “Alex and the Privilege Factory” with...
3 tags
Finishing Showgirls in the morning
Me: Why don't YOU ever do me in a pool with dolphin spitting fountains?
Giant Fiance: Cuz we don't have a lot of coke?
Watching Showgirls
Again.
What was going on during filming? Was everyone like, “No, no Elizabeth. Be more manic and unsupported. YES! That’s it.”