December 2011
50 posts
2 tags
Tiny dog wants my grapefruit La Croix so bad. He’s crawling all over me trying to get to my cup. He’s the weirdest. 
Dec 30th
1 note
Dec 30th
1,211 notes
3 tags
Forcing Tiny Dog to snuggle.  He’s warming to the idea. 
Dec 30th
2 notes
Dec 30th
394 notes
glossylalia replied to your post: I am freaking out about this audition No no no go for it. You are an inspiration either way. Keep being great! NO YOU ARE! Thank you.  I needed that. 
Dec 29th
1 tag
Branding: making us believe we are defined by what we consume rather than what we create. 
Dec 29th
Dec 29th
38,030 notes
1 tag
Dec 29th
126 notes
3 tags
I am freaking out about this audition
If I don’t get it: obvious bummer. I don’t know when I’ll have the attention of the comedy gods again. But if I don’t get it, I’ll be fine. Our little production company is in an amazing growth spurt and I love all my collaborators. I love the home I’m building with Giant Husband.  I don’t even hate my day job. I’m more afraid of GETTING this gig....
Dec 29th
3 notes
2 tags
Dec 28th
9 notes
djsparklemotion replied to your photo: Giant Husband loves his bowler.  That is a good lookin hat! We are going to this hat shop when you’re in town.  IT IS HAPPENING!
Dec 28th
3 tags
Dec 28th
8 notes
“I don’t care what you think about me, I don’t think about you at all.”
– Coco Chanel (via thatrenegade) Life motto. (via desertmar)
Dec 28th
215 notes
Dec 28th
809 notes
5 tags
Dec 27th
557 notes
3 tags
Weird self realizations
It matters more to me to present as “feminine” than to present as “pretty.” 
Dec 27th
2 notes
2 tags
Dec 27th
I got called back...
We’re officially to vodka. 
Dec 22nd
kataroo replied to your post: I got invited to audition for something very fancy… SNL? Is it SNL? Oh lord, no. I would be a disaster.  If SNL is heroin, this is Mike’s Hard Lemonade.  
Dec 20th
2 notes
3 tags
I got invited to audition for something very fancy that I am absolutely not qualified for. I am just praying that I don’t embarrass myself and therefore ruin any hope of working in comedy ever again.  You know, thinking positive. 
Dec 20th
8 notes
Dec 20th
2,494 notes
Dec 20th
3,455 notes
4 tags
Important things
Spending all day on the couch with a grand finale of The Muppets Christmas Carol. 
Dec 19th
20 notes
2 tags
Business lady tip
Make sure you’re actually done crying in the storage closet before you exit.  After you mop up your tears, stand there for a few seconds to make sure there’s not another sob waiting to break free.
Dec 14th
2 tags
“It is hard to say “musical” without immediately saying...”
– Giant Husband
Dec 14th
1 note
re: Second City
THANK YOU! You are all so lovely :)  It’s not real till it’s on tumblr. 
Dec 14th
3 tags
Did I tell you guys I got into the fancy Musical...
Because I did. 
Dec 13th
13 notes
Dec 13th
33,239 notes
1 tag
What is point of having a giant lovely bed and a giant lovely husband if I have to sit in this cube all day?!
Dec 12th
2 notes
nom-chompsky: amberguessa: haguenite: janeaustenlover: “helga hufflepuff was black” we have many good black caracters. so just leave that. helga was white. she is white, and will be white. as heathcliff. who’s next? black dorian grey? black darcy? black prince charming? mo racism. never. just sense. Where are the KBURD JPEGS? I would watch the SHIT out of a racebent Pride and...
Dec 10th
38 notes
this that & the other: Dear fellow white people, →
akagoldfish: yummydick: Things we should internalize about racism: We can be “nice,” “smart,” “compassionate,” “caring” and racist at the same time. None of these are mutually exclusive. It doesn’t matter if we didn’t mean to be racist. Intentions don’t matter. Actions &…
Dec 9th
1,083 notes
1 tag
Dec 9th
42 notes
6 tags
Dec 9th
9 notes
1 tag
“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”
–  someone who has never eaten postcoital pie. 
Dec 9th
1 tag
Christmas memories
When I was 7 my sister told me that she waited on an old couple all dressed in red and that the man had a white beard and his wife called him Chris.   I then assumed that she had served Santa and was appropriately excited. 2 years later, I found presents from “Santa” hidden in our storage closet.  I did the math and the jig was up on Santa. I remembered this story and felt like a...
Dec 8th
seejanerum replied to your post: Doctors are always so shocked by my low blood… Same here. Suck it science! I loves it.  I also love the look on their faces when they take my blood sugar.  I know it’s crazy Dr. “You need to lose 2 pounds a week” but mama is doin’ just FINE! 
Dec 8th
1 note
2 tags
Doctors are always so shocked by my low blood pressure.  Sometimes they take it twice. Yes, I am fat.  Yes, I have very low blood pressure.   My grandfather was as round as he was tall and died at 85 (car accident) with the blood pressure of a 35 year old runner.   I gots them round genes in more ways than one. 
Dec 7th
Dec 7th
11,730 notes
Dec 7th
390,894 notes
Dec 5th
21,762 notes
Dec 5th
1,465 notes
Dec 5th
4,825 notes
2 tags
After watching Toddlers & Tiaras, I’ve decided that my kids will go to pageants.  However, they will be in sweatpants and given ice cream sandwiches.  They’ll be instructed to wander around the room and  tell the pageant kids, “That dress looks uncomfortable.” 
Dec 4th
17 notes
Dec 3rd
313 notes
4 tags
Closing night (for this run)
And I lost my voice.  I am staying home today.  On vocal rest.  Following musical director’s advice and, “Letting the mucus do it’s work.”  Fuck. 
Dec 3rd
Dec 3rd
4,329 notes
1 tag
Once you remove yourself from a life you shared with an addict, all your old party pics suddenly seem more sinister and heartbreaking. 
Dec 2nd
Dec 2nd
1,760 notes
“Doctors in emergency rooms have no right to refuse to provide medical care to...”
– Erin Gloria Ryan, “Nurses Fight For Their Right To Refuse Women Care”, Jezebel. (emphasis by dopegirlfresh) SERIOUSLY. (via getyourpokeon) This. (via nicotinecoughdrop)
Dec 2nd
2,486 notes
Dec 1st
1,661 notes