I am freaking out about this audition

If I don’t get it: obvious bummer. I don’t know when I’ll have the attention of the comedy gods again. But if I don’t get it, I’ll be fine. Our little production company is in an amazing growth spurt and I love all my collaborators. I love the home I’m building with Giant Husband.  I don’t even hate my day job.

I’m more afraid of GETTING this gig.  I would be performing full time with no access to outside endeavors.  Which is like a total identity overhaul. Who am I if I’m not ceaselessly killing myself for one more role or project? Or doing two tech weeks at once or doing a show and then running to a rehearsal?  There’s so much travel; not good for the new marriage.  And the production company, I have no doubt that it will keep growing leaps and bounds but I’d miss so much of it. 

Basically dreams coming true would really mess up my flow and I’m having an anxiety spasm about it. 

And now a shame spiral has begun. UGH.